Hey All!!!
Hope you're all well this afternoon!!
I'm under the weather today and have
been since 5am this morning (such a long day).
But I'm hoping I'll feel better soon
and not so cold.
Anyway...
Today is different to what I usually
do.
Now if any of you follow me on
Twitter or happened to see my tweet about saying goodbye to college, you might
be wondering what exactly is going on. Well that's why I'm here today to clear
a few things up.
I officially left college yesterday
as I felt I could no longer be there. I've never felt comfortable at college
and like myself, I did feel better when Leah started and we clicked but after
she left I went back to how I was before. I didn't have the drive to do the
work not because I'm not hard working; but purely because my heart wasn't in
it. In doing this course you're working towards University and even though I've
been to open days, I just never felt excited about spending 3 years piling up
debt - if I wanted to do that I'd buy a Chanel bag!! University was always
something I was never sure of and I wish I was 'cause it would be such a good experience;
but it's just not for me - laments terms education isn't for me. Education and
I have never got along together we're very much two different people who want
two different things. We constantly make up and break up and even though we
want to make it work, we just can't seem to find the balance and the happiness
in the relationship. So for the last time (I hope) I broke up with education
and I feel better for it. Having school phobia in Secondary school has always
made me weary of education, I never trusted the education system and without
trust there can be no relationship. (I really am weird).
So what's next...
Well I still have my job at Debenhams
on a Sunday, plus with Christmas coming up it means I can do more hours. I have
my work experience in a week and a half so hopefully that will open up some
doors. I'm gonna go and work hard and of course look fabulous. I have a job
interview tomorrow which is for a permanent position and I think full time, so
that's not too bad plus it means I don't have to worry about finding more jobs.
I have been applying like mad to various jobs (all retail) and hopefully
something will happen. If I don't get the job tomorrow, then at least I can
focus on work experience and of course I always have Debenhams to fall back
on.
Overall I think I'm going to be
alright in the long term. I'm going to focus on doing the things that I want to
do and what make me happy. I want to get back to driving (now Charlie has
Mildred); I also want to work on my voice with singing lessons and hopefully do
the grades and finally work on my novel.
Honestly there will probably days
where I will regret my decision and cry my eyes out; but there will be days where
I'm happy with what I've now got and the freedom. I'm 20 years old so it's not
as if I'm a spring chicken who has the time to figure out what they want, I'm
now an adult who needs to decide what they ACTUALLY want. Right now I want to
be happy and that is my main priority.
Of course if any of you guys have
questions or can relate to me, then you're more then welcome to comment or send
me an email.
Hope you all have a good day!!
B x
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